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Jack Kelley - author of “Children’s Stories of the Bible, The Adult Version”

Jack Kelley - author of “Children’s Stories of the Bible, The Adult Version”

I love the way that religions carefully compile the most rigorous rationales for the most ridiculous notions.  

The special Jewish halakhic ruling which allows emergency operation of Haredi-friendly cellphones with one’s teeth is a great example. And the recent scientifically rigorous rabbinic investigation of whether the kosher elevator is “working” on the Sabbath or not is another very rational response to the rather odd idea that God gets really quite angry if people work on the Sabbath.

But the following piece of post-Rapture advice, from Christian writer and online “Bible Teacher”, Jack Kelley, is just priceless:

Post Rapture Pet Care

Q. I’ve read your response to a previous writer who expressed fear about his/her pets once the Rapture happens. I understand that we have no need to fear about missing our pets and/or whether pets will be with us in heaven because the Lord wants only our happiness when we come to be with Him, and am comforted by that. However, my real fear pertains to what will happen to our pets once we are gone?

I don’t have any relatives or friends near by and I live alone. I’m assuming after the Rapture, it will be each man for himself for those unbelievers left behind, so I don’t have much faith that those left behind would be kind enough to look for pets in abandoned houses. I envision that after the Rapture, my pets (who are strictly housebound) will just be left to starve to death.

Do you have any words of wisdom or thoughts about this for me?

A. Have you ever considered what a witnessing opportunity this could be? If you have friends who are not believers, have you considered asking them to take care of your pets in the event of your sudden disappearance, even if they don’t live nearby? It’s sure to start a discussion about why you think you might be disappearing.

If they don’t become believers after seeing your sincerity about the Rapture, they almost certainly will after you’re gone, and will adopt your pets. If they become believers before the Rapture, then pick someone else and repeat the process.

Hat-tip: Erica